Zapped

Today I am zapped of all energy. It has been a draining week, and I'm trying to think positively, but I'm a little on the cranky side. I know I have a lot to feel blessed about. I guess I'm just in need of a little "me" time. The kids have been sick this week, as have I, and I just hope that is the cause for this mostly awful week. I feel kind of defeated as a parent, like I'm not good at it and am failing. I pretty much put everything I have on a daily basis into my kids happiness and well-being. I'm not feeling "well liked" by my children at the moment, and it is hard. I deal with low self-esteem sometimes b/c I don't bring anything to the table financially, and yet I work so hard. I just hope all that I am doing will matter and that I'm not totally failing like I feel I am. It mostly started a couple days ago when Hunter found his (hidden) Christmas presents downstairs and wanted to play with them. I said no, and oh my goodness you would have thought the world was ending. I've never seen him like that. He kept yelling, "I don't like you!" at me and said he didn't like my face. That's a wonderful thanks for all things I do for him. Then it continued and is continuing. He woke up the next morning and went directly downstairs and got the presents again(b/c I hadn't the energy to re-hide them) and when I said no again, the same thing happened. He said he didn't want to look at me and for me to leave and that I was bossy. I know he loves me and I love him dearly, so its a little hard for me to hear this kind of talk, especially the amount of times he's said it in the last 3 days. I guess today its getting to me, and I feel sad. Perhaps I'm just being a little selfish, and need to harden myself to those sayings, after all, they WILL be teenagers someday and I'm sure I'll regularly hear I don't like you, but I want my little boy to think I'm the best! I guess there are days when being a parent is easy, and there are days when being a parent is hard, and this is a hard day. I know it will be better, every day is a new day.

In other news, Tate somehow hit his face on the kitchen chair and bit both the top and bottom of his tongue very deeply. I could not believe how much it bled. Hunter was upset that he was bleeding, he was very sweet, he came and brought Tate a washcloth to wipe up the blood.

That's about all for now, I'm going to go try to get a little nap in, might help me feel better!